Last night I went out for a meal with some neighbours. This was really enjoyable, particularly because they owed me for it, after I helped them shift a load of stuff on eBay. Their company is pretty good as well, which is more than can be said for life around here at the moment.

Yes, it’s back to the usual moaning, sadly. The past week me and my housemate have barely exchanged a word. Yes, there’s the usual pleasantries, but the way things are now you wouldn’t have thought we’ve known each other for over 10 years.

It’s all gone wrong, unfortunately. The worst of it is when he tells me things like he’s applying for a job that will only need him to go in two days a week, working from home the other three. That would be an utter disaster as far as I’m concerned, and if that came to fruition I would be out of here as soon as possible.

It’s the little things in life that give me so much annoyance though. For example, it doesn’t appear that he has any knowledge of the mess he creates when he has a bowl of rice Krispies. I guarantee that each time I will find at least 10 of the damn things all over the kitchen floor. And don’t get me started on the state of the microwave after curry has been in it.

I just live with it now though. It is easier than cause trouble by complaining. And I’m sure I have my own irritations too…

I just want to be out of here so that all of this becomes academic, but it’s not happening. It’s not happening because, when I look at the financial reality, it’s not really possible. I may well have been busy lately, but profits are definitely down compared to this time last year. If I could see they were stable, I would definitely be able to afford my own place. Right now, I don’t have the security.

Therein lies the perennial problem of self-employment. Or at least, the situation when it comes to me anyway. Years on, and still nothing I can say with categorical certainty will keep coming in every month.

The year wasn’t supposed to be like this. I’m afraid to say it, but this year is already nearly half over and nothing is any different. None of the early promise has come through, and it has no prospect of doing so. Yes, six months isn’t that long really, but life is actually pretty short. Productive life even less so, and the part of the life you can be truly active in is even shorter still.

Last night I had kind of made up my mind. One more month before I take the plunge on something. I cannot wait much longer. It will either be moving house or moving business premises. Somewhere. Anywhere. I just can’t accept this stagnation any more. It’s not working, it’s getting me down, and I need to feel like I am in control and doing something about it. That has always been my preferred form of operation…

Got a meeting tomorrow, on Sunday of all days, to discuss with my so-called business partner in waiting. Not holding my breath.

And this is my 500th post. Hmm. Well done, me. I reckon they’re all the same these days now though!