Tired, Tired, Tired

Why do we like to write things in threes? I don’t understand.

But I am more than just tired. At the moment I don’t seem to be able to get enough sleep. No matter how much I think I am going to bed early enough and getting the sleep I need I just seem tired and weak all the time.

I know it’s all my doing. I know I am having to work too hard, but needs must at the moment. However, this was first time I had some evidence that maybe it’s doing me some damage.

My diet has been worse than usual of late. I have a very poor relationship with food anyway… nothing really gets me excited or interested. I sometimes don’t bother with the final meal of the day, and even when I do it can be utter rubbish: pure stodge and carbohydrates.

I give blood on a regular basis. It didn’t happen last time due to catching a cold the day before… but on Monday the circus/bloodmobile rolled back into town again and I was fighting fit.

Or so I thought. Turns out that I was only just on the right side of the iron threshold. For the first time ever (I’ve now given blood 26 times) I was nearly rejected because of not having enough iron in my bloodstream.

It made me worry a bit about my diet. Properly this time. I just don’t look after myself. I don’t have the time to cook nice meals from scratch. But even if I did have time, I don’t find cooking interesting in any way. I find it a real chore to have to plan something like that out in advance, ensuring the ingredients are in the cupboards. It’s just not going to happen when my life is as crazy at is. When I finish work most days at 7pm or sometimes worse, I am going to suffer somewhere.

But I’ve always said I’d never let myself suffer from serious sleep deprivation. It seems to be the way of the world these days for people to stay up until midnight and still be up 6-7am for work the next day. Whereas I generally enjoy making sure I get a good 8 hours…

And yet I still feel tired.

I feel tired writing this. This despite the fact that I had enough sleep last night, and still had more sleep on the train as I travelled home (yet again). I am not carrying a massive sleep deficit. I am just exhausted. I must be.

It could all change soon. Today one of my businesses agreed to take on someone to help with our admin burden. The other business is also going to have someone in to help out. I don’t know how it will work out, but if it helps me to finish work and go home at 6 instead of 7 I will think it’s worth it.

But I think I’d still get up at 5am. Still the best time of the day.