In Sickness & In Health

It is horrible being ill, but it’s probably made worse when you’re in a relationship with me.

I am the worst ill person around. I moan and complain and generally think I’m about to die. In short, it’s better to wrap me in a bubble and put up with my constant complaints regarding not coughing into your shirt or my general direction than listen to me when I’m ill.

And so it has been recently. J is not well. He’s had a cold now for 5 days, but mercifully it’s nearly over now. I have my sympathy of course, and I do what I can, including all the cooking and the washing and occasional running around. But no more. Not even a peck on the cheek will pass my lips.

It hurts me though. It happened when he was ill for several weeks back in November and it really put a strain on our relationship. It worries me that just a little illness caused me to grow so distant. I guess I’m just a needy person I suppose. I had no cuddles or loving tenderness that I drifted away for a little while. The same has kinda happened here. But it will come back.

I hope. Last night we weren’t really talking, and when I went downstairs I found him looking through what we call the memories box. He said sorry for not being fun any more. It was all a bit sad. In truth he has a point. We don’t do anything fun these days. Everything is so serious. I almost want to go back when we were just friends as we had to find more things to do with our time than just sit and snuggle watching the TV. We had to go out and do stuff or things would get very awkward and boring.

But I just need to be more patient I suppose. I’ll feel better with things as soon as we’re both in good health. Then we can try again.

I just wish he’d stop coughing. Why does such a simple thing annoy me way out of proportion to its impact?

Aren’t I a great guy…