It’s been one month since I made my last post, which was full of despondency. Understandable. I still feel much of the anguish of that post.
But I am fortunate in that during the last few weeks I have been kept exceptionally busy. Through a combination of a major project, which lasted nearly two weeks, to plenty of small and big jobs for customers, business has been ticking over nicely. Keeping my mind busy with work stops me from sliding into depression, and gives me a real sense of momentum that things are moving in the right direction.
Now upon me is another big decision. In just a few weeks time it will have been a year since I left home. It has been a turbulent year, difficult at first, but steadily improving, yet with much problems still to face up to.
Obviously, living here simply must continue. I would be foolish to pull the plug on this business given that I have no alternatives. At the moment it’s not making me a small fortune, but I’m able to live OK. Ideally I need my income from it to double, but that isn’t going to happen any time soon unless I get projects like the network one I’ve just finished on a regular basis.
The other option would be if somehow I came across a circumstance in which a full-time job was offered to me based on the strength of the work I’ve done. I doubt this would ever happen, but you never know. If something like that came up I’d seriously consider it, despite the obvious benefits of self-employment. There are many down-sides too, such as being unable to “switch off” that would influence such a decision. Not that it’s relevant right now anyway.
But it does come up, as my brain is always looking for what other options my life could take. Plus I keep watching The West Wing and thinking “that’s what I should be doing!” – forgetting, of course, that real life isn’t like that. But still, the temptation of a proper political career is still what I’d secretly like to do. In the back my mind. Not that that will ever happen either…
The decision, having accepted the reality that life is dull, then, is whether to sign up for another 12 months, or 6. Of course, that can always be extended. But the risk of 12 months is that during that time I will snap and decide I’ve had enough. That was unlikely during the previous 12 months, as I had already accepted that I would give this business a proper 12 month go of it and then if it’s failed then that’s the end of it.
But it hasn’t failed – which is good – so now I must decide whether to commit to a longer period to it. Hmm.
Inertia is easy. It will make me stay here. But in the back of my mind is always those little niggling doubts. Only a few more years left before I won’t be eligible for Australian and New Zealand working holiday visas…