A month on since I was thoroughly depressed by what’s going on out there, I don’t feel much better.

The daily horror of news is really shocking, but sadly it numbs as time goes by. This is the human condition. We become desensitised to what is a travesty because we can’t cope with it any other way. If we reacted the same every day to what’s going on (only politicians can feign this because they have to for the media) then we would be simply die through stress. Thankfully, the human body finds a way to no longer feel so awful about the daily pain, even though, by now, there are worse things going on than there were a month ago.

I feel genuinely upset when I think of people stuck in cities like Mariupol, being shelled daily with no way of escape. What brutal escuses for humanity the attackers are. What cowards and shitstains on the toilet bowl of life they are.

What can any of us do about it?

I have had to spend the month trying to keep busy, and focused on work. I read the daily news from a few sources, and thankfully one source in particular (DK) is excellent at giving us some hope that the fight will be won in the long term.

As for those in Russia, under the thumb of manipulated media they have my pity. I am sure they don’t want it, and I am sure they think it is we who are being pressured into supporting our government. I assure people that, if I were in Russia, I would not be alive. We may think that our country has slid many rungs down the freedom pecking order, and people are too accepting of authority and whatever shit Boris Johnson is selling today. But we do not, as a general central organising principle, hang people for being different. There are many areas we fail on – e.g. trans rights – and we must keep pushing to change attitudes. But we are not Russia.

Work has been a busy month. J and I have done what we need to. J is currently at a local meeting… while I stay late in the office to do a few bits and sneakily write this. I don’t get the freedom I used to. This isn’t a bad thing necessarily.

We did manage a nice weekend in Folkestone. That was good, clocking up 18 miles on the day. We really did push ourselves, though I pushed myself a bit too much and ended it with a purple big toenail. It will take some months to grow out, but at least it’s no longer painful. We are planning more of these this year, just like our early Wales adventure. We have to have some things to live for. We are lucky to be able to do so.

Meanwhile others do not. Prices continue to rise everywhere. As the height of middle class problems, filling up the tank now costs three figures. Not good. We use the car as little as possible, but it is needed for work and our minor adventures. I feel guilty each time. No one else does, and continues to use it to drive around the corner, or deliver their children a few hundred metres to the school gates.

We still do not have any idea if we will ever find somewhere else to live. We are OK where we are, but it needs much work. A lot of it. We don’t want to be the ones that do it, as we won’t then benefit from it, so we think it’s time we sold up and moved on. But finding a bigger house for less than the ridiculous sum of £400k is proving a challenge. Again, first world problems.

Better wrap up. There is one job to finish and some dishes to wash. The weather has turned horribly cold again, just when we thought spring and sprung. Today it has been four seasons in one day, warm sunshine, howling Northerly wind, snow, while it’s bright and spring-like in the trees.

The heating continues. Russia will be happy.