Here we are then. The evening after the evening before.
Last night was a rather quiet affair. In previous years the parties have been good but last night’s was somewhat subdued. Mainly because there was no official family party this year… So we just had our own small drinking session. With music. But not much occurred. We had a decent laugh and enough food, but it just didn’t seem right. No guitars, no wider family, half of my own near family missing. It was just… sad.
The main aspect that made it worse though was the fact that I couldn’t really be properly affectionate with my partner until late. I guess it’s my own fault for not being prepared to be honest with the family. But then again, I wonder about everything like that. Would I actually want to be affectionate in public anyway? I’m really not sure. Perhaps I’m getting stressed over something that isn’t an issue. Or perhaps I’m getting stressed over it as a proxy over the actual stress of when to be honest over the relationship.
Anyway, the point of the new year post is to take a wild guess as to what may be in the year ahead. Given how badly I did last year I’m somewhat reluctant, but here we go.
First, I hope that my year with my new partner, who is the only real “partner” I’ve ever had, goes successfully. We’ve now officially been partners in crime for almost 6 months. I know I’m in love but I still worry about what else might happen and whether I’ll still feel the same way. Which is mean of me because I know he’s utterly and totally devoted to me and I shouldn’t take advantage of that. It could go the opposite way and I never really assume that could happen. Here’s to us remaining the good friends we are.
But more than that, I hope it’s a year in which I truly feel comfortable in what I’m doing and who I am. And that I do find the courage and circumstances to tell my family about me.
Regardless of that though, I hope me and my partner have a year filled with fun and adventures. I’ve not had enough of those in my crappy life so I really could do with lots more.
Secondly, in business, I hope the IT company fully blossoms to take advantage of the interesting opportunities that it has in store. It’s going to be a really challenging year. I hope one day we can truly employ someone to help us manage the workload, but we need to see lots more money in the bank before I think we’d be safe enough taking that risk.
Thirdly, I hope I can find some way out of the predicament I’m in with the other business that is amicable and constructive. If it can end well it will be a huge relief and a massive stress from my mind.
Fourthly, I just don’t know whether we’ll ever get anywhere with the house thing. It would be nice but I worry I’m potentially going to be buying at the worst time…
Finally; as always, I hope for a safe navigation of another year for my whole family. My poor nan is not really that well any more, and I fear we’re just at the beginning of a new managed decline. Not long after the last one ended. But this is life I guess. You’re never far from the next tragedy. Other people have suffered similar over this festive period.
Here’s to the new year. I’m off to make a JD and Coke…