These days birthdays come and go without great incident, fanfare or even comment. This week was yet another example of that.
Monday was my birthday, and, unlike last year, I was actually at home for it. The benefit of this is fairly obvious – you can have a proper celebration with family and at least get a little attention…
The problem was that, unfortunately, work has other ideas. Lately the amount of working I’ve been dealing with has been astronomical. There also seems to be a drop off in my productivity, probably corresponding to a) lack of sleep, and b) decline in motivation due to being totally depressed.
The birthday itself was mostly rubbish. I spent all of the day doing work, finally getting a chance to stop at around 9pm to have a takeaway. We were supposed to have been going out for something to eat, as has become family tradition, but no such luck. The joke of it all is that even my meal was interrupted, because I’d done something which broke a website just before I stopped – deliberately I might add so that the client could see what was wrong – and then was ordered that I had to put it back the way it was. Madness.
In any event, I’m now back in the usual place of work. I am increasingly seeing it like that, because all around me is work, not a home. The living room has a laptop setup, which is currently installing 400,000 Windows Updates. There are two PCs in the kitchen, one of which is complete, and the other is in progress. Then my desk next to me, in my bedroom, is covered in paper relating to a couple of ongoing projects. There is no escape.
I look back at my post from last year, aged 26, when I was moaning about stagnation and nothing much changing. Nothing much has changed a year on. A year is actually a very long time. You can get an awful lot done in a year. I’m just not in a position to do so thanks to one thing, and one thing alone. MONEY.
Money rules everything. I’ve known that all my life, and that’s probably why I’ve ended up so obsessed about it. Money money money. I make a good businessman, that’s for sure. Except not good enough that I’m making enough money to have a positive impact on my life. Who cares about whether you can spend £1 and buy some scones. That might make me feel briefly happy, but it doesn’t change my life.
So the days and weeks tick by. Here’s to another year of stagnation.