It’s funny really. I was right in my last post that things were looking bad. But time has flown by quickly, as usual, and we’re staring down the Christmas barrel again. But at least now, whilst all around virus numbers are slowing, to me this lockdown has almost been no different to the first. My life, all year, has been work first, everything else never.

But out there, it doesn’t feel much different. In the morning the roads are as busy as ever, and in our town the shops are mostly open. It’s just no pubs and restaurants. Almost everyone else found some reason to declare their products essential and carried on. In the exact same way we did, and I don’t blame them for that. We have to try and earn money to eat somehow.

Me and J have done nothing all year, so being told by the government that, because of everyone else enjoying themselves a bit too much in late summer and early autumn, we all now have to suffer, really didn’t make much difference. I resented it, of course, as my lifestyle hasn’t been a problem. My work involves interacting with almost no one, and if we do, customers don’t set foot in the premises and handover their computers from a safe distance. The handwashing, and cleaning wipes, with masks and gloves, all seems to have done our part, and no doubt other businesses have done the same.

But the same can’t be said for the pubs (which I didn’t go to anyway) or the restaurants (which I frequent maybe once a month). They had some involvement, and so did people going to other people’s houses. But maybe people are being better behaved than I think they actually are, behind closed doors? I don’t know. I have no contact with real people.

For me, personally, there was no lockdown 1.0 or 2.0. I kept on working. Around me, the first lockdown was very weird. The second lockdown, not so. People are not afraid to go out and do things any more. That has put additional pressure on us, and we have been disappointed at the number of people who want us to come and see them at their home, just because we are allowed to as it’s work. We didn’t want to take the risk, and why should we? Also disappointing has been the amount of people saying “it’s a hoax” and “well, I’m old and have had my time anyway”. Really? The internet, and social media in particular, is destroying our society. It’s something I have worried about a lot, and have a lot to say about… but not at the moment.

All lockdown has meant for me is no slivers of fun outside of working hours. Otherwise, I have worked more, and been driven insane by endless phone calls to fix people’s printers remotely. Why do people still need to have printers anyway?

But it will soon be “over” and we’ll be allowed to do more stuff again. Though not really. I’ll see if I can arrange what had become something of a pre-Christmas tradition with my sister to meet up and say hello. That might be the most exciting thing all year. After Bombay Bicycle Club. And … erm, nothing.

2020, I won’t miss you.

There has been nothing this year like the anxiety that the situation in America has caused me. After watching the polls all year look so good for Biden, I was confident he would win, and possibly even in a landslide. So for the election to be so close was a little embarrassing. How could I have thought the polls would be accurate? Sure, they were actually quite close last time, but whatever errors they made they should have now fixed. Shouldn’t they?

On election night I saw there was some bad news in certain key districts in Florida and N Carolina. That was bad enough to make me think those states were lost, and worse, the chance of a quick defeat as, for certain reasins, they would count quickly. So I knew I was going to bed and would wake up not really certain. In truth, I barely slept.

When I eventually saw the results in the morning showing Trump leading in so many states, but knowledgeable people I was reading on Twitter saying don’t panic (yet), I held my nerve. I said to my dad it’s close but I can see a path for Biden winning. We just have to wait and hold out hope.

I have nothing but sheer and utter disgust for Trump. The contempt I hold him in for the damage he has done to America, American governance, the institution of democracy and the image of America, and its position as hopefully a force for good in the world (not that it has been for some years now) is now shattered. China is ready and waiting, and has pulled many neighbouring countries into line. They are showing how it’s possible to have a successful economy and happy citizens (whilst being responsible for some terrible things behind the scenes) without democracy. Trump is driving the world to follow in that path. That path is incredibly dangerous. The man had to go.

After several agonising days in which I saw Biden gaining, and the crossover moment getting closer, I could feel the relief growing. I had always been confident that as long as the results were there Trump would in the end have to go, no matter what lies and further extra-constitutional destruction he would attempt to wage on the way out. I had read enough sane people to say his options to rule as a dictators were zero. And they all look to be correct. We have a real problem these days that social media and the news is filled with disastrous worry, and it feeds into people’s behaviour. We should be worried, of course, but let’s keep it in perspective and look at all trying to regain a mutual attraction into what facts are once more.

The trouble is, because of the above, the result almost doesn’t matter. There is nothing the Democrats will actually be able to do because of the country’s bizarre inability to pick one thing and stick to it. Instead of embracing the Democrats, they give them a nod as not quite as bad as the other lot, but don’t actually give them any power. So the lack of majority in the Senate will stop anything from happening. Biden will achieve nothing legislatively. But maybe he can change the tone. The last fellow who tried that (Obama) realised with about 1 year left to go that the other side were not playing with good intentions. It worked and they ended up with Trump. I suspect they will try the same. Biden needs to ignore them and talk directly to America in the hope he can cut through. But in this media climate, and the bubbles we now all live in, I don’t see how it’s possible.

So America is finished. Politically. Culturally, who knows? It won’t be long before China is so powerful that many will look to them for safety. They can wait. They measure time in centuries… meanwhile America will kill itself because a few million people feel like their freedom is under threat for having to wear a fucking face mask. What’s wrong with people?

At least, however, I will feel a little less nauseous about what Trump is doing today. Soon that anxiety will be gone. It will feel … normal? Isn’t that what we’re looking for after this year?