A Note To Mum

It’s probably a good sign when you’re so busy you forget to blog, right?

But then, what happens when the work runs out…

Yes, the pace slows down to a crawl, and I get some time to think. And catch up.

Not too much time though, I hope. Cos lately, I’ve actually been earning enough to sustain living here and start to pay back some of the money I’ve borrowed (off myself) to finance the move.

This is good, and it’s real progress. Lately I’ve felt pretty good about myself. Well, part of me, anyway. I’m never truly happy, it seems. Largely because of my lack of social interaction with anything. And of the things I am interested in, politics, singing, computers, education… they tend not to get me involved with people my own age. Especially women.

But I can’t really complain. I now have short-term targets to ensure I’m earning £125 net profit a week. That’s not much, but believe me it’s a start, and right now it’s exactly what I need. Moving house has been an expensive business, and I really need to be earning double that per week if I’m to have a half-decent life… but even that is not sufficient. That would never pay off the student debt!

Meanwhile, today is my mum’s birthday. I have sent her a present, which thankfully arrived in time. But still it doesn’t feel right not to be there… even though I must have missed her birthday every year out of the four I was away at university. Still, I suppose it’s one less person to get in the way. My mum and dad get no time to themselves, so maybe they’ll be able to go out for a meal tonight without having to worry about paying for everyone else, as invariably happens.

It’s nice though to say thanks to your mum, and I really don’t do it often enough. She’s under so much pressure and stress from my family it’s untrue. I try my best not to contribute, but I know she worries about me anyway. Not as much as she does about my elder sister and her son (my nephew) – but she never complains. Well, only a little.

But who wouldn’t. She had my sister when she was 16 and has been a mother ever since, and is now a grandmother too. That’s quite a shift to be putting in. I think it helps keep her young, but soon enough we all need to be big enough to stand on our own two feet. I’m trying to do that, but no one else helps.

I feel sorry for her. She says she has no time to do anything for herself. And she’s probably right. The best she manages is maybe to sit down on FarmVille for half an hour each night. She doesn’t read. She hardly goes out. She doesn’t listen to music any more. She doesn’t play games, and hardly ever sees her friends.

Now I’ve managed to shame myself into thinking I need to be more appreciative. But that was my goal. I think I’ll take her for a meal when I’m next back. That would be a nice extra present, I think.

Thanks, Mum. Happy birthday too!

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The Worst Winter In My Life

I write this post as it seems like – at the moment anyway – that winter is possibly starting to ease off.

But maybe it’s not such a good idea to tempt fate.

Today, at long last, the temperature reached a balmy 4 or 5 C. This got rid of a large amount of the snow that has been lying on the ground for some time. Which is good, as I think everyone was pretty fed up with it by now.

It’s been about four weeks solid of freezing temperatures. Day after day of snow and ice, and probably the coldest I can ever remember it in my life.

But it has been the snow that has been the most significant. I love snow. Usually. And that’s normally because every other time I can remember it it disappears the next day.

Genuinely, this is the first time ever that I’ve seen it snow and stick around for so long.

That’s why I started to get tired of it. The snow turned to ice, and made it impossible to get around. Luckily I managed to avoid falling on my arse by slipping, but there were many close calls.

Nevertheless, it has made for some great pictures. I went out for a stroll the other day – as I’m back in my house down South now – and crossed a very big field absolutely covered in snow. An absolutely unbelievable sight; never witnessed in my life

That was good. It’s made some of this suffering worth it. But otherwise, this has been a bit of a disaster. And unprecedented.

Maybe that means it’s not going to happen again. Or, at least, not going to happen for quite some time. But I can’t help but feel that there is a trend. Worse summers. Worse winters. It’s very worrying. I don’t really remember the weather being all that extraordinary during my childhood. There was one really hot summer. But otherwise, there was plenty of rain, some sun, and fairly mild winters in comparison to the one we just had.

Of course, anecdotes don’t equal evidence. And my memory may be faulty.

But if this is what summers and winters are going to be like from now on, I’m definitely going to be looking for a new country to live in!

2010

Here we are in the dawn of a new age. A new decade. Just like the last one.

First of all, I simply can’t believe that it’s now 10 years since the millennium. And yes, 2000 will always be the millennium to me. It just looks nicer. It only seems like yesterday that I was a fresh faced youth wondering what the decade just ended would hold. Now I wonder what actually happened in it.

Anyway, the year hasn’t really started well. Our now traditional family party turned into major disaster because of incidents involving way too much alcohol in my brothers and elder sister, and everyone else in general. Oh, and dogs and first cousins once removed. Not worth repeating here, but this will be enough to remind me!

This morning there is much alcohol haze and annoyance. Arguments from last night will either be continued today when my sister emerges, or sorted out. It’s hard to know. But this was a pretty bad one.

I suspect it won’t, and it will fester for another few months. Basically, my sister wheeled out a whole decade of greatest hits, insulting my parents and most of the family in the process. Fuelled by Southern Comfort, no less. And my sister doesn’t really drink. Yet she really did last night!

Anyway, let’s look at what this year holds.

You know what, I’m not going to make any predictions. For the first time in my whole life, I have absolutely nothing ahead. That is appalling, of course. All I see is bills stretching to infinity. I could set myself some targets or some arbitrary deadlines, but I know I’ll miss all of them, so why should I bother?

I’m going to try my best though. I’m going to try and sort out this horrendous mess I’m in. One way or another, I will not be ending this year in the same position as I started it. I am determined about that.

So, OK, I’ve set one goal. But there are no specifics. I think that’s a total waste of time now. I’m going to take each day as it comes and see what happens.

I know one thing though. I simply have to have more fun than last year. How that happens, I don’t know. But it’s got to. I can’t carry on living such a boring existence.

As for everyone else, I just hope and sort of pray that we all get through the year unscathed. I also hope at least one of my family gets a lucky break they have long deserved. We shall see.

Here’s to a better year!