Tired, Tired, Tired

Why do we like to write things in threes? I don’t understand.

But I am more than just tired. At the moment I don’t seem to be able to get enough sleep. No matter how much I think I am going to bed early enough and getting the sleep I need I just seem tired and weak all the time.

I know it’s all my doing. I know I am having to work too hard, but needs must at the moment. However, this was first time I had some evidence that maybe it’s doing me some damage.

My diet has been worse than usual of late. I have a very poor relationship with food anyway… nothing really gets me excited or interested. I sometimes don’t bother with the final meal of the day, and even when I do it can be utter rubbish: pure stodge and carbohydrates.

I give blood on a regular basis. It didn’t happen last time due to catching a cold the day before… but on Monday the circus/bloodmobile rolled back into town again and I was fighting fit.

Or so I thought. Turns out that I was only just on the right side of the iron threshold. For the first time ever (I’ve now given blood 26 times) I was nearly rejected because of not having enough iron in my bloodstream.

It made me worry a bit about my diet. Properly this time. I just don’t look after myself. I don’t have the time to cook nice meals from scratch. But even if I did have time, I don’t find cooking interesting in any way. I find it a real chore to have to plan something like that out in advance, ensuring the ingredients are in the cupboards. It’s just not going to happen when my life is as crazy at is. When I finish work most days at 7pm or sometimes worse, I am going to suffer somewhere.

But I’ve always said I’d never let myself suffer from serious sleep deprivation. It seems to be the way of the world these days for people to stay up until midnight and still be up 6-7am for work the next day. Whereas I generally enjoy making sure I get a good 8 hours…

And yet I still feel tired.

I feel tired writing this. This despite the fact that I had enough sleep last night, and still had more sleep on the train as I travelled home (yet again). I am not carrying a massive sleep deficit. I am just exhausted. I must be.

It could all change soon. Today one of my businesses agreed to take on someone to help with our admin burden. The other business is also going to have someone in to help out. I don’t know how it will work out, but if it helps me to finish work and go home at 6 instead of 7 I will think it’s worth it.

But I think I’d still get up at 5am. Still the best time of the day.


Where To Start

It’s been too long since I last wrote. Life goes in waves, and the past two weeks have been phenomenally busy. Let’s try to catch up…

Work has been dominant, of course. But not the normal kind of work. I’ve been doing a lot more web stuff, with awkward and sometimes useless clients. Overall it has been OK, except for the fact that it has almost entirely replaced my normal PC repair work, without me even trying. It’s odd, because at around this time last year the same thing happened: repairs slowed to next to nothing.

The good news in some respects is there have been no more funny “episodes”. I’ve tried to eat more too – because I’m convinced lack of energy has been making me feel weak. I think there has been success on this front, as in truth I need to put on some weight. I don’t think I have, but I haven’t lost anything, which is a start. So I feel a bit more confident about health, which is a relief.

The only downside on that front was last week, when I had to do some work in London for a client of mine. After work was over, we went for a drink, which turned into about seven. Now, I am not a drinker. In fact, I am a total lightweight. My excuse is that I had had very little to eat all day, the last proper meal consisting of a sandwich and some grapes at lunchtime.

Somehow I managed to stumble home, but much the worse for wear. I was violently sick on the train home, and indeed have a memory of starting to throw up as I was just about stumbling into the toilet. This continued for about 30 minutes. I don’t think the momentum of the train helped. It was highly embarrassing, not to mention deeply unpleasant. I never use train toilets at the best of times… but I had no choice!

The next day was a total write off. I had to cancel everything. I was still being sick well into the afternoon, despite my stomach being totally empty, and feeling desperately weak through constantly trying to throw up absolutely nothing. It was the worst feeling I’ve had in a long time. I generally don’t enjoy getting drunk; two or three drinks is enough to make me enjoy the evening… and if that’s what’s going to happen when I dare to have a little more than that, I think I’ll pass, thanks all the same. My housemate tried to say maybe I’d eaten something funny, because he thought it looked more than the usual post-drinking hangover – which I suppose is possible, but I think it’s more likely it’s because I hadn’t eaten at all…

Which, naturally, contradicts what I wrote above about eating better. But that day was a mistake. I was working too hard and forgot to eat. As usual.

This week has been busy too – but it has also had some bonuses. My sister, brother-in-law and two nephews have come to visit for a couple of days. Yesterday we went to Bournemouth for the day, which was really good fun. The weather has been stunning lately, about 10 days in a row of wall-to-wall sunshine and 20C warmth. My kind of conditions. Today, it is not quite so good, and I think we’ll get a cooler spell now.

But this has cheered me up significantly. Life is dull, generally, and I have nothing exciting to live for. When there are other people to enjoy it with, it becomes much better. So getting to do something different, even if I still have to field calls when I’m out from customers who don’t understand that a new computer has nothing to do with their printer ink running out, is much appreciated.

Anyway, that’ll do. Another month over.