Dying Of Boredom

The level of boredom in the new house darn Sarf is such that I have actually decided to come back home for a few days.

And those few days could easily stretch to a week…

It’s good to home… but in truth, it’s just good to be somewhere with working internet. I knew I was reliant on it, but I didn’t think it was that much.

The move on the Saturday was OK. It was a little sad… and tears were shed by most of us, even my dad. They were tears that marked the end of an era, I think. I knew I would be back… and here I am to prove it… but during the week it has dawned upon me that “this really is it” and now it is entirely down to me to sort out my life. That never again will I truly live in the sanctity and safety of the family home.

Sunday was awful. It was spent spending over a grand in IKEA, travelling to and from the store, and then building the furniture. It still isn’t all built now. Luckily, my housemate was a lot better at the stuff than me, and so we managed to get through the important stuff, like a couch and the two beds, OK. Nevertheless, it was still incredibly frustrating and stressful.

Then the week began in earnest. No internet meant several trips to the library to use the exceptionally shitty computers there. Talk about basic. 640×480 resolution. Internet Exploder 6. Horizontal scrolling. Crashing. But it was my only connection to the outside world.

And one of the first things I did was order my ticket home!

The main problem is that it’s going to be two weeks before the internet gets set up in the house. Without it, I’m lost. I can’t do anything. I can’t do my political writings. I can’t keep in touch with friends. I can run my business. I can’t keep up to date with the world. Instead, I’ve had to go back to the dark ages, relying on Radio 4 (urgh, too pedestrian) and reading newspapers. So out of touch…

And then there was the lack of a fridge. We finally got one delivered yesterday, but in the meantime its meant having to go and buy every meal especially. And worse, having dry toast for breakfast. Not good at all. It’s also meant some rather eclectic meals, depending on what ASDA or Tesco were reducing that evening. Rocket salad. Nasty. Far too bitter for my tastes. But needs must…

We will get there. Right now I’m not keen on it. It’s a nice house, for sure… but I’m unsure about my housemate. He’s entertaining, but sometimes he tries too hard. Needs to relax a bit more. That puts me on edge. I want to try to enjoy my new house if possible.

Note the use of house. Not a home. Not yet, anyway.

Maybe once things settle down I’ll begin to enjoy my freedom again. After all, within minutes of me arriving back home I was already getting stressed out by the dog.

Still… there’s some work for me here. That’ll keep me busy, and escapes the boredom, sitting, waiting, wishing something exciting would happen. It was like the bad old days.

At least here, I’m occupied. And, even better, the work pays for this trip a couple of times over. Happy days.

Search Results

The weekend now seems a distant memory, but it was a productive one.

I arrived at my destination on Friday evening, and was met there by my friend and prospective house sharer. I’m still a little unsure about what he’s going to be like to live with, as though we’ve known each other for years we don’t really appreciate each others way of life habits. The kind of thing you only begin to understand when you live with them…

So it’s a gamble from that perspective. But I think it will be OK.

We started the house hunt in earnest on the Saturday morning. We had worked out a tight schedule to view some 11 properties in the space of six hours, spread across our prospective new home region. It ran like clockwork, as we managed to get to all our appointments early and the estate agents were all on time too. Good for them.

Some of the properties were embarrassingly bad. The estate agent almost seemed apologetic showing us round them. They were top floor flats with grimy communal areas like staircases and lifts. Then you’d go inside and either there’d be a total mess in there or it would be clear but that would expose the rather curious holes in the plasterboard walls.

After much scouring of flats and apartments we quickly decided they weren’t going to work.

So we moved on to the house part of our itinerary. That, I’m pleased to say, was much more successful. The advantages of having entirely your own space are huge. Even better, one of the houses we looked at had a small garage to its side which would be perfect for my computing business.

That house is the one we’ve decided to go for. It was new, modern, recently redecorated, and the price was a steal once we offered a 12 month tenancy.

It’s a massive gamble for me. Can I possibly recoup the £4,000 in rent over the space of a year? If I can I’ll be happy. It will be a positive sign that there is room for continued growth.

I will also have a much better chance of running my business properly as my friend is going to be heavily involved. That’s one of the major attractions of moving.

If it doesn’t work I think it will become obvious to me very quickly. In which case, I really will have to find a proper job. That won’t be too difficult, hopefully. But in any case, it will result in me successfully leaving home and starting my own life, something I’m desperate to do.

If it does work… well, the sky’s the limit.

It’s now just a case of waiting for the estate agents to do their bit. And, of course, hand over huge sums of money for trifling little bits of legal and clerical work. Bastards have me over a barrel with their fees for this, that and the other.

Exciting times ahead…

Searching

This time tomorrow I expect to be safely ensconced on train, zooming southwards to a potential new home.

Well… it might be a little to early to say that. At the very least I’ll be on the lookout for a new home.

My plan to form a bigger business venture with a business partner might happen, or it might not happen. It all hinges upon us both finding somewhere decent to live that isn’t expensive. In fact, cheap enough that a six month tenancy will be worth the gamble.

So far we’ve not made all that good progress using the internet. We have found a couple of properties, and even booked in for some viewings, but it is a shame that in two cases we have since been called up to say that the property is gone. One of those in particular was something that looked extremely good for us.

But nothing beats actually getting out there and searching for yourself. Most of the work will be done in the space of six hours or so on Saturday. It will, no doubt, be a tiring experience. There’s certainly a lot of ground to cover, as there is more than one potential town on the horizon that we could live in.

It’s an exciting time for me… I’m having some doubts about whether this is a good idea… but every time I have them I realise that I have no other real option. Staying here for the rest of my life is not doable. And, the more I work for other people, the more I want to work for myself, and make it happen properly.

In theory this could all go very quickly once we’re committed. There is no time like the present, after all. I don’t really know how the logistics of the move will work, but in any event it’s not something I need to worry about now. These things will come together somehow.

The key to it will be hitting the ground running. Once I’m settled down I’ll have to think hard for ways in which to make the computer repair/retail thing really take off. I’ll be more willing to leaflet and advertise to wider areas once I’ve got proper transport available, which can only help. Right now I’m terrified of the phone ringing and the customer saying they’re in a place 15 miles away… because I either have to turn them down or it turns into a big travel commitment.

But that’s all for the future. Who knows, it might not even happen. After all, in the past week, I’ve actually been really busy with my business and other things in my life. So much so that I was starting to feel quite good about myself again.

But I knew today would come, when there are no calls, and once again I’m sitting here… waiting… for something, anything, to distract me. Hoping that that something might earn me some money.

And that’s no good.

And that’s why the search is on.

Axe The Family

In recent weeks, I’ve become increasingly despondent due to the relationship with my family. I know I love them really, but it’s just one of those things that really needs a bit of distance.

It’s not good to live with your close family all of the time. In the end, you just get frustrated with them. Their quirks, habits and annoying features all get under your skin. If I wasn’t living here, I wouldn’t be witnessing them on a daily, if not minutely basis.

The problems range from my younger sister who incessantly watches television, no matter how crap. From soaps to reality TV, from Hannah Montana to The Suite Life On Deck – no insipid dross is bad enough for her. It all just flows in. And then there’s the obsession with the Jonas Brothers, and her constant desire to talk about every last detail of what happened in school that day.

My brother in university is something of a joke. He should have gone away for uni, like I did. He’s trying to live his own life, trying to be different, except it’s being frustrated by living at home. Such a rebel. If he wanted to drink till all hours, come home whenever he feels like it and stay up all night watching shit on YouTube (or worse) then he should have found his own place. While he’s here, his anti-social behaviour is disrupting the rest of us.

Worse, it is a terrible example to my other brother. He’s still in school, but thinks he’s such a big, tough man. The language from him is absolutely disgusting, especially when he’s on the Xbox 360. I’ve never heard anyone filled with such bile, such bitterness, towards people he hasn’t even met. Stereotyping people on the stroke of a pen, my brother’s degenerate behaviour really has been something of a shock to me since I moved back home.

So, basically, I want out. My parents are OK, but they’re useless now. They’ve clearly given up on the rest of the family. There is no way that me or my older sister would have got away with the way this lot behave. And I recognise that my attitude towards life has become so down and negative simply because I’ve been the one having to tell my brothers and sister off if they do something wrong or inappropriate, as my parents just don’t seem to care any more, letting them get away with murder.

There’s just a slight problem with my master plan. No job. No money. Business is a disaster right now. Even if it wasn’t, I don’t have a reliable source of income. At any moment I could get work and then the work could dry up, and I’ll end up with nothing and still be left paying rent (because a mortgage is never going to happen).

So I’m stuck here for God knows how long. Stuck living with a family that I can’t tolerate for much longer. Depression is returning, I know that for sure, as I’ve been extremely down for more than a week now. I just wish someone would give me a break.