Quantum State Inbox

There’s only so many ways you can write out “nothing much happened” in 500 word blog post format, and it seems I’m running out of possibilities at this moment in time. But fortunately, there is something trivial to report.

The worst part of life right now is that my brain is even mocking me. I am in dire need of some good news. Indeed, I’m in dire need of even receiving the application forms I’ve asked for. It’s not a good sign if you ask for a form early last Thursday and still don’t have it today; it probably means they’re a thoroughly incompetent organisation. If there’s one thing I can’t stand, it’s inefficiency. I digress.

My brain is mocking me because I had a couple of dreams last night in which I received an e-mail which contained an offer of real, paying work. Woo! No, it wasn’t a chain e-mail asking me to engage in some fraud. Though that would have been funnier. And it would have made me realise even during the dream that it was a load of rubbish. You know what I mean, when you’re having a dream that’s so ridiculous that even your sub-conscious mind begins to say, “Yeah, right! And that swimming, bright orange sheep just exploded because…?”

But instead I woke up, 90% disbelieving that there actually was something good in my inbox (there never is)… but a tiny tiny percentage of me really did believe, hoped, wished, was desperately craving for something good to be waiting when I opened Mozilla Thunderbird and Gmail this morning. The sensible part of my brain was saying “This is just ridiculous! Dreams are nonsense!” and yet I didn’t want to extinguish this tiny flicker of hope that there was something in it. Who knows…

So I had this bizarre train of thought. The longer I didn’t inspect the inbox, the longer I could hold onto this vague hope that something good might be in it. Yes, my friends, there was some sort of quantum logic operating here. If I didn’t check my mail, I wouldn’t know whether there was good or bad news in it. Or even no news. Some might even say that all of the above apply until it is inspected, thus forcing it to settle.

Don’t expect me to understand that, or even if I got it right. Probably not. I only have a useless degree in political science after all.

So I waited. Just a little longer. I hadn’t checked my e-mail since 4pm last night. It was better that way. Nothing good ever appears anyway, so the longer it’s left the more chance that something might drop in there that I might actually want to read.

Of course, when I did look, there was nothing. Nothing at all. 16 hours and nothing interesting whatsoever.

Do you think I might be getting addicted to checking my e-mail? I think so. At least when the mail arrives, you know there’s not going to be anything else that day and you can relax. E-mail is an altogether different beast. A very scary one, replete with OCD scales and wings.

And so, another tedious day must begin.