This one is going to be a little different.

This time, I’m going, while my parents are staying here.

On all previous occasions, they have taken me to my new place of living, helped me get setup, and then left, leaving the final goodbye on the doorstep of the new place.

But now… today… I’m being picked up by my soon-to-be new housemate. He’s arriving in a van, which will be loaded up over an agonising period of a couple of hours, and then we’ll be off.

I like travel. To me, as much a part of a holiday or any adventure is the journey to it (though the journey back is depressing). So I’m bizarrely looking forward to the many hours drive to my new house.

Note the use of the word house. I don’t know whether it will become my home yet. The jury will be out for some weeks, depending on whether I feel comfortable there.

But this is it. This is the genuine end of an era. Not like the many false dawns that came with other “leaving home” moments, when I’d move to Hull or London for university purposes. No. They were always done with the idea that, one day, I would be back… whether it would be for the holidays or permanently, as has been the case since June last year.

This time, though, I am moving out properly. Though there will remain some of my stuff here, because I don’t have the boxes to shift it, mostly I am going. My life is currently sitting in my old bedroom, waiting to be shipped out. And never to return.

Of course, material possessions are one thing. I know for a fact that I will be returning here. In fact, the ridiculous thing is that I will be back here next weekend. I have agreed to try to keep up one of the regular contract jobs I have here in the hope that it will lead to more work. Which is bizarre if I’m moving 200 miles away, I know… but if I can organise it properly, I will be able to come home fortnightly to work which pays for the journey, and maybe a little bit more. Making a profit from coming to see my family will be a beautiful double whammy!

That’s the plan. If it becomes inconvenient, it will be ditched. And on that point, I will sever all remaining reasons to travel home for anything other than Christmas.

So while I’m not fully leaving here forever, there is a very decent prospect that it will become that. Especially if, as I hope, the new business down in my new location takes off.

Before that, though, will be at least a month of settling down. I don’t really know what living with this person is truly going to be like either. It’s all a gamble on many fronts. I only hope I’m making the right choice.

But it’s too late now. Gotta roll with it. Gotta actually try and be a Real Adult, rather than sponging off my parents. That will be a big relief to me, and to them as well, I’m sure. Though I do more than my fair share around here. I wonder how they’re going to cope. The rest of the family are going to have to chip in a lot more than they normally do.

Anyway, it is time to sign off. Lots of things still to do till the move this afternoon.

Here goes nothing.

Quantum State Inbox

There’s only so many ways you can write out “nothing much happened” in 500 word blog post format, and it seems I’m running out of possibilities at this moment in time. But fortunately, there is something trivial to report.

The worst part of life right now is that my brain is even mocking me. I am in dire need of some good news. Indeed, I’m in dire need of even receiving the application forms I’ve asked for. It’s not a good sign if you ask for a form early last Thursday and still don’t have it today; it probably means they’re a thoroughly incompetent organisation. If there’s one thing I can’t stand, it’s inefficiency. I digress.

My brain is mocking me because I had a couple of dreams last night in which I received an e-mail which contained an offer of real, paying work. Woo! No, it wasn’t a chain e-mail asking me to engage in some fraud. Though that would have been funnier. And it would have made me realise even during the dream that it was a load of rubbish. You know what I mean, when you’re having a dream that’s so ridiculous that even your sub-conscious mind begins to say, “Yeah, right! And that swimming, bright orange sheep just exploded because…?”

But instead I woke up, 90% disbelieving that there actually was something good in my inbox (there never is)… but a tiny tiny percentage of me really did believe, hoped, wished, was desperately craving for something good to be waiting when I opened Mozilla Thunderbird and Gmail this morning. The sensible part of my brain was saying “This is just ridiculous! Dreams are nonsense!” and yet I didn’t want to extinguish this tiny flicker of hope that there was something in it. Who knows…

So I had this bizarre train of thought. The longer I didn’t inspect the inbox, the longer I could hold onto this vague hope that something good might be in it. Yes, my friends, there was some sort of quantum logic operating here. If I didn’t check my mail, I wouldn’t know whether there was good or bad news in it. Or even no news. Some might even say that all of the above apply until it is inspected, thus forcing it to settle.

Don’t expect me to understand that, or even if I got it right. Probably not. I only have a useless degree in political science after all.

So I waited. Just a little longer. I hadn’t checked my e-mail since 4pm last night. It was better that way. Nothing good ever appears anyway, so the longer it’s left the more chance that something might drop in there that I might actually want to read.

Of course, when I did look, there was nothing. Nothing at all. 16 hours and nothing interesting whatsoever.

Do you think I might be getting addicted to checking my e-mail? I think so. At least when the mail arrives, you know there’s not going to be anything else that day and you can relax. E-mail is an altogether different beast. A very scary one, replete with OCD scales and wings.

And so, another tedious day must begin.