Eight Months

This morning marks an eight month anniversary for me and my partner. It’s a nice event, and we’ve been noting almost every possible combination of anniversaries as they go. For both of us, it really has been an abnormal relationship.

First, for me, it has been my first, what I would say “proper” relationship. One in which I feel truly comfortable all the time just being me, and being all stupid and lovey-dovey. Nothing else I’ve ever had (and there have been precious few) comes close.

Second, for him, he has (apparently) never had anything like this either. He was in a relationship from the age of 16 right up to 26, with a partner who was abusive and a total dick. Of course, I only hear one side of the story. But I believe it. Love, eh?

But a smooshie relationship is what it’s meant to be, right?

He is very much a troubled soul, in need of help. You can see where things went wrong. Yesterday we visited his mother’s grave, on Mother’s Day; the poor lad lost his mum at the age of 10. We’ve been once before, and the first time we went I was in floods of tears. He is more stoical, but I could see yesterday he was genuinely sad. I was too, but tried to stay in control. Things have been depressing of late, but that’s just life isn’t it?

What I’m looking for this week, which I know I won’t get, is just a calm week. No sadness. No pressure. No external influences. Just calm. We’ve had a pretty rubbish January and February (as business isn’t great right now) but as always, with the daylight increasing (yay!) it just feels like it might be time for things to improve.

I sure hope so. At times I get buried in my own negativity. It’s inevitable as it’s just who I am. But I think it’s decreasing. And it’s all thanks to my partner.

Never really thought I’d ever say anything like that. But there we go…

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