Christmas With Two

There is a lot that hasn’t been written on here for quite some time.

The main reason is that I do not have an opportunity to do so any more.

It’s funny how life is completely different when you have a partner.

It was a bit weird to come to terms with at first, but now, after 5.5 months, it is just routine. And yet it’s not. Every day I wake up and think how interesting my life has become. How much more worthwhile living.

And yet it has also become more challenging. I have now a metaphor for my life, which technonerds would understand. Our relationship is like a RAID 0 array. When errors happen on one side, it affects the other. The whole array is reliant on constantly being in a good state.

Here we are at Christmas. It is, after much careful negotiation, and continuous subterfuge, a family Christmas. Me and my partner are both home, staying with my family. In separate beds. Back in the loft I used to live in.

It’s all temporary, of course. Yesterday, we drove the long drive Up North. It was fun and nerve-wracking. But it was worth it. We’re now a long way away from work, and now enjoying relaxing in other people’s company. It’s been nervous for both of us, as my partner gets introduced to the rest of the family without anyone actually knowing that he’s my partner.

Yes, he.

The other bit of my life, the bi-sexuality that I’ve always been in some denial about, has exerted itself. In the end, I had no control over it. It was emotional, and stressful. And I still don’t know for sure if I’ve made the right choice, and truly wish to stick with it.

But my partner has ended up being one hell of a find. And worth risking everything for.

How ironic that I write this with no one around. No chance of being overheard. In a snatched 10 minutes.

Here’s to Christmas.

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