It’s A Girl. And Other Dry Observations.

Today I am writing a post from the comfort of my train seat. It’s yet another trip home, though to be fair I haven’t been home for 5 weeks.

I laugh at this. When I was in university I didn’t go home during term time. This usually meant 12 weeks stretches from start to finish. During that time I kept myself entertained to such a degree that I didn’t really think much about going home.

Now things ate different. I’m never normally more than three weeks away from going home again. Perhaps it’s because the trips home are basically my very short holidays. Time in which I can get away for a little bit and not do much.

But even that is now under threat. Now I usually am home for less time than I used to be. It’s only 2.5 days and I’m off again. One of those days has me in work. Another is usually a Sunday and I like to do my own thing on those. 

And I am ashamed to say that I don’t think I’ve visited my Nan in months. I’m pretty sure the last couple of times I’ve been home I didn’t have time to do so. Which is tragic, when I consider how lucky I am to still have one grandparent left.

Meanwhile news came yesterday that my friend from school, who is realistically the only one I keep in touch with is now a dad. All things that make me think the clock is ticking against me with no prospect of things changing. In the short term it also makes me feel stupid. He called on Thursday with the good news, and, me being the awkward person I am, proceeded to hold a rather stilted conversation. Generally speaking I just don’t know what to say when put into emotional situations like that. I usually resort to banalities. 

What was the weight, I asked, matter-of-factly. Really. I didn’t even attempt to make it sound engaging or personal. What’s the name? Oh, how do you spell that? OK that’s a new one.

The promise of coming to see them tomorrow might come back to bite me. That might put paid to what has become my Sunday routine. Mainly involving Radio 1. Sad.

Honestly, I have no idea what to do with myself any more.

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