Not A Good Ill Person

I’ve written before about this, but, generally speaking, and touching wood, and all other superstitious, pointless nonsense included, I am a healthy person, who very rarely gets colds, flu, coughs, sneezes, or other bacterial/virus crap. Even when in the presence of people who have, like happened over Christmas.

But at the moment I have a rather odd problem. For the past five days or so, I’ve been getting this rather bizarre and random pain “behind” my right eye, and also when I lean my head forward. It was really bad yesterday, but has been OK today. As is common with most people my age, I consulted Doctor Google, and have diagnosed myself with some sort of sinus bug.

The alternative is that my eyes are degrading from ceaseless short range vision. I am going to go to the optician next week to make sure it’s not something nasty going on with my eyes. I know my short-range vision is not as good as it used to be, but it’s not so bad I need glasses, I don’t think. We’ll see.

But I don’t like this. I’m not used to it. I’m used to feeling physically OK. I take it very much for granted. I know I shouldn’t. I should value it every day.

Or at least I should have been.

Because I am feeling less than optimal… I get grumpy. I am not used to this. I feel exceptionally sorry for myself. I feel like I should be well. I don’t take sympathy, and all I want to do is get away from people and go asleep.

I suppose everyone does a bit. Some people lap it up and enjoy taking the time to rest and relax, watch DVDs all day, recover both physically and mentally. Instead, I just get stressed out over all the work I’ve had to abandon.

Yesterday, I was out with a couple of friends (OK, not traditional friends in that they aren’t the same age as me…) and spent the time with them for several hours while feeling utterly awful. I struggled my way through the day, hardly speaking, hardly making any effort at all. I didn’t want to be there. I just felt like my day was wasted, feeling sorry for myself and unable to get away from the situation.

My neighbour thinks I’m ill because I overwork myself. It might be true. But I’m not doing anything now I didn’t do for almost six months solid from June to December of last year. And I’ve only recently come back from a two week break. I have to keep reminding myself that I’ve literally only been back for 12 days. It feels like ages. Probably because I’ve been working non-stop since then.

Hopefully next week is a bit easier. It doesn’t look like it already.

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