The Unofficial Birthday

The past few days I’ve been back home Up North. It’s been a good time on the whole. Two full days of work which will earn me a not inconsiderable sum. And a chance to recharge my social meter (for all Sims fans everywhere) before returning back to the dullness of The South.

On Wednesday we sort of had my second birthday. After my original birthday was so crap a couple of weeks ago, this one was a little better. I had some presents to open. And then we all went out as a family for a nice meal. OK, it was only the Harvester but the company is what matters.

It was the first time in quite a while that we have just sat down, the six of us (my older sister is kinda forgotten about, but that’s because she has a husband and a son!) and chatted, gossiped, and had a great laugh reminiscing about good times gone. I was amazed and slightly pleased to discover that my nearest brother (in age) loved the family holiday to Austria as much as I did.

I do miss all this. Every time I come home I have to get my fill of joyous family life because I know I’ll be without it for at least a few weeks. While I’m here now I can take advantage of it. Even if we are all changing, and my youngest sister now has a boyfriend who occupies every waking thought of the day, and my other brother acts so stupid half the time, there are still occasional glimpses of the goodness we all had and may still have if only we fight to keep it…

How can I get around this? Well, there are a number of options, most of them completely out of the question. The real answer is to try to get my own family. That also seems out of the question, but it’s probably the only feasible medium-term alternative.

The sad thing though is that it’s merely an act of substitution. By replacing the family I enjoy being part of up here with another, I would be removing a major aspect of my life. Just like my sister sort of has. Well, it’s a bit easier for her, still living very close to my parents’ home. With me, I get the feeling that once I had other drains on my time, I wouldn’t have any more room for what’s left.

As I’ve got through life, I’ve realised that there only seems to be enough room in the heart, and the brain, to cope with so many relationships. Friends, family, acquaintances. They all eventually get replaced with something else.

Devastating, but true.

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