Bread Based Idiocy

It is amazing how such a little bit of incompetence can make me feel such a moron.

Only 15 minutes ago I departed to go the shop. The goal, to buy a loaf of bread. A simple goal, you would think. One I have done many many times before without incident.

I was wrong. The problem all stem from the fact that I have to buy bread for more than me this time. If I’m buying bread for me there are only two loaves I ever buy, depending on which shop I go to. Warburtons Seeded Batch or Hovis Rich and Roasted. The best loaves of bread ever, by the way.

But since I’m currently living at home, having good bread is optional for the simple reason that if I buy anything other than crap white bread it will result in a deluge of complaints from my siblings, whose pathetic palates can’t tolerate anything other than white putty-like stodge. So I have to sacrifice myself and buy crap bread.

At the shop, I arrive to the usual dilemma. Which one to pick? My family seems to alternate between different loaves every time. I decided to go for a Kingsmill 50/50 loaf (which they will tolerate because it’s still “white”). But then I put it back down just to look around one final time. Then decided to go with the orignal decision, and took it to the till.

When I got back home I took the loaf out of the bag and was horrified. Not only was the loaf not the Kingsmill 50/50 – it seems I’d picked up the neighbouring white loaf which has almost the exact same wrapper design… but worse, it was thick sliced.

Thick sliced is fine, but it is a con. You still eat the same number of slices despite their extra size, thus meaning you have to buy another loaf of bread in a much quicker time.

I don’t know how I’d managed to make this mistake. I only ever buy medium sliced. But for some stupid reason the thought to check that I was buying medium sliced didn’t even cross my mind.

Idiot, idiot, idiot. How hard can it bloody be to go and buy a loaf of bread? I should be able to do this by now without making one of the most basic errors a food shopper can make.

My penance will, of course, be to go and buy another loaf tomorrow.

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