Death of a Friendship

Things turned back to their odd ways in the past week when I made the very interesting discovery that my housemate had been sacked from his job. I didn’t think it was possible to be sacked as an intern, since an intern is not contracted, but they effectively told him to never come back.

I made this discovery through the simple fact that my housemate just left the documents confirming this just lying on the living room table. I could hardly not miss them. The result – I had to pretend I didn’t know anything while my housemate began the old charade of pretending he had been to work, lying to my face, by putting on this suit before I got home from work (I caught him out on Monday when I got home early and heard him hastily shuffling back to his room, where the door was locked and the sounds of clothes changing was obvious) and then telling me that work was “boring” and that he’d “finished early”.

In the end I got fed up with this, but there needed to be a way I could broach the subject without giving away the fact that I had technically been snooping. So I just called his office and asked if he was there. They told me immediately he had been sacked (since he’s no longer very popular in there!) and so I had the information I needed.

The conversation was delicate, but easy once it had begun. He explained that their patience had finally snapped because he had taken so many days off and then came in to work and started doing his university assignments when he had a backlog of stuff to do. I explained that he really had to go to see our course supervisor immediately to get something sorted out. In his mental condition, it wouldn’t be good at all to sit around for the next three months. Indeed, he might even have been asked to leave University altogether.

It seems that he’s finally taken my advice, though, as usual, I will be damned if he chooses to just volunteer what the outcome is. I think he has been given permission to carry on, but I’ve no idea what he is now going to do with the rest of his time here. The whole thing is just incredibly awkward. Our friendship is steadily eroding away because of the fact that he just will not communicate with me. Friends trust each other and talk about what’s going on in their lives, not necessarily because we are able to do anything to help (though in many ways we can) but because we care about how each other is getting on in the world. When something big happens to one person in a friendship, more often than not they will tell the other. That’s just the way it works. My housemate doesn’t do that, leading me to struggle to try to keep the damn thing going.

So I’m quite bored about it now. It’s terrible, because I’m beginning to not care any more. Most friendships in life die away due to neglect. I look at my MSN list and see that I only talk to about two or three of them regularly. The others are “every now and then” because they have fallen into disrepair, and so their current state means they can only allow a reasonably detached conversation. But this friendship is dying before my very eyes. When friendships are neglected, you often don’t witness the process of destruction. But here I’m seeing it in all its full glory. It’s not a pretty sight. It means we spend most time avoiding each other. When we do have to communicate, it is full of small talk. I’ve tried – I really have – to show I’m interested in seeing him get himself sorted out. But he doesn’t want me to care, because if I care then it makes him feel pressurised. Which makes him even more unstable.

It’s a ludicrous vicious circle that I’m very tired of being involved in. And in many ways I cannot wait for it to end. Such a shame.