Deferring Dilemmas

Yet another month passes, and there’s not much to show for it, particularly as I’m now gravely concerned about the fact that my birthday is next Sunday, and I have not made any plans for it. Nor do I want there to be any plans. I know 21 is supposed to be some mythical coming-of-age moment, but as far as I’m concerned I can’t see how it will make any difference. Well, apart from the fact that I’ll be able to be elected to public office. Oh joy.

There are many thoughts churning around my head at the moment. The first amongst these is “what should I have for breakfast?”. This is another attempt by my brain to get me excited over the bewildering choice available in the cupboard of Weetabix, Shreddies and Sugar Puffs, but it will fail miserably as I know I’m going to eat Weetabix. Again.

The next thought involves the rapidly approaching London experience, now just two months away. I’ve been trying not to think about it, as it involves far too much effort to sort out, and I can’t bear to imagine how many dull trips to grotty houses/flats I’m going to have to make to decide on what to choose.

This thought is then combined with the fact that my ex-housemate-from-Hull and presumed-future-housemate-in-London has done appallingly badly in his exam results. This was not unexpected, due to the traumas he went through towards the end of the last semester. But the silly fool does not appear to have put in the necessary paperwork in time, if at all, for them to consider his relevant special circumstances. If he is forced to pull out of the course, everything changes as far as I’m concerned. And it would be just terrible for him; I’d be very worried about what effect it would have.

Meanwhile, further thoughts have been made available in the form of congratulating myself on a job well done last year. My own exam results gave a comfortable 2:1 average over the year, and I really couldn’t ask for more without destroying what is left of my sanity and dwindling social life. I’m very pleased with that. I now have just two years left of this course.

Then that thought leads onto considerations about what the hell I’m doing with my life. If I want to go into teaching, I have one year to make the decision, and keep putting work experience together. I’ve heard some terrible stories from people about how they have been working in schools for years and still cannot get onto undergraduate B.Ed courses. I would be applying for a PGCE, but I don’t expect it to be any easier. This means that if I fail to get in when I want to, i.e. immediately after I graduate, the chances are I’m going to have to abandon this ambition of teaching because I can’t afford to spend another gap year out trying to prove my worth.

Those thoughts are then antagonised by the fact that I’ve been enjoying my work in school enormously, and so it probably should be something I should pursue. But I’m still not sure what age groups I like to work with the most. They all have something to be said for them. Particularly the ones who write the most amusing things, like saying their favourite game to play on the playground would be Medal of Honour, because they like killing Germans.

So… lots to think about. And lots of sunshine to enjoy. Plus an England game.

I’m guessing my brain processes aren’t going to be exercised that heavily today after all…

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