Back to Life, Back to Reality

These are the words to a song I can remember from my youth. I hated it a lot. Yet, right now, they seem to sum up how I’m feeling really well. As I’ve posted, I still feel like the last three months haven’t happened. They’ve flown by so quickly, and so much has happeened, that it feels a little surreal to be now back here in extremely ordinary circumstances.

Today I register at my University for the academic year. Yesterday I went shopping in the same old supermarker that I always go to. Everything is just so depressing. The dark nights are closing in. The weather is on that cusp between summer and autumn and you can feel the end of this great summer arriving pretty quickly. I’m still readjusting to what feels to me like a new reality, yet I know full well that it’s the reality I’ve been existing in for a year. Maybe more.

So maybe I need to do something about this. Maybe I should be grateful of the fact that this summer has opened my eyes to the fact that my life is dull. I kinda knew it anyway, but only now do I actually feel the urge to change it.

But with what. This is the agonising part. I love music too much, and this summer has sort of proved to myself that I do have some talent in this area. I’d love to do something with that this year. I should try to join a band.

I might even go back to the earlier idea I was considering about helping out in a youth club or something similar. I’m not sure if I might end up disappointed if I do that; kids around here are very different to the ones I’ve worked with all summer, but it might be a different and interesting challenge.

I just can’t let myself spiral back into inactivity and inertia again, because that only brings me down off the high I know I can feel if only I just do something about it.

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