Return and Resume

I arrived back in Hull yesterday, and this morning unpacked all my stuff. Two of my housemates are back, and fortunately it’s the two housemates who are my friends. The other two idiots are not back yet, but their arrival must be imminent. I haven’t seen them for weeks now, and I’ve almost forgotten that they were involved in my life at all.

But they are, and I’m sure they’ll be making sure I don’t forget it when they return. In the meantime, I should just enjoy the peace and quiet.

There are now four weeks left before my first exam. I should be OK with them, and as long as I pass them all I’ll be pleased. I haven’t set a high target for them as there’s no point. I only need to get 40% across everything, so I shouldn’t use up all my time and energy on getting the highest score possible when I could do that and it counts for nothing. Just as long as I don’t fail any, because any resits will totally blow my summer plans out the water.

It’s weird being here again. I’m glad to be back at my computer, because I’ve missed hearing my music, especially the song Half Light by Athlete which I heard a week before I left Hull and fell in love with immediately. But it’s good just to be back in my free and private space again. The presence of parents is remarkable for just making me much less independent. When I’m here, I do things for myself. When I’m home, I can’t help but get lazy, mainly because my mum likes to fuss over me.

It’s awkward at times. Even now I’m older, the other night when I went out to play pool with my friends, my mum was still wanting to know what time I’d get back. I’m convinced she was more worried about me being out then than she ever is when I’m here in Hull. I can be a few miles away and she’s worried constantly, and I can be 100 miles away and she isn’t. It doesn’t make sense.

But life now resumes. Just like last time, I felt my life had stalled while I was home. I recognise now that I’m still doing my growing up here, but it’s a different kind. Here I feel my freedom and independence is allowing me to develop as a person in ways that I just could never do at home. It’s just all about finding my own feet, which didn’t seem to be happening back home.

This academic year is nearly over. I still can’t believe how quickly it’s gone. Soon I’ll start a series of posts reviewing my entire youth (this idea was blatantly stolen from one of the interesting blogs I read by Disliked) in the build up to my 20th birthday on July 9th, when my official life as a teenager ends, and adulthood begins.