Housemate trauma: the dilemma

I hate writing things about the horrible person who lives in the room next to me in this house. It’s almost an admission of defeat – a sign that he has got to me so much that I have to vent it in some way. I tend to get myself involved in psychological battles with people, and being a bit of a fragile individual mentally, I already go in with a distinct disadvantage.

Fortunately, this guy is a weak individual too. I’ve been taking him on with success the past few weeks. The latest incident involved him tidying up his disgusting room before an inspection from the landlord, and, realising that he has nowhere to put his 16 binbags full of rubbish, he starts chucking them out the bathroom window into the garden. I had hidden the key from the back door to stop them doing that in the first place. I had to confront him.

He lied. Barefaced lies to me. Claimed he was not throwing rubbish out the window at first. Then claimed he was always planning to take them the rubbish dump all along – another lie as he would have left them if I hadn’t challenged him, and third that he was going into Uni early tomorrow morning and so couldn’t take them to the tip the next day before the inspection in the afternoon. Also a lie – he didn’t even go in that day.

I hate liars. There’s nothing worse than a disingenuous person. It’s odd, because you can almost always tell if people have a natural level of integrity to them, and when I first met this guy, I knew I wouldn’t like him. It only took me a few days for this view to be confirmed… he’s another one of these people who love to be loved, and craves the respect and glory from friends. Or rather, he just wants people to look up to him, even if they aren’t friends.

So I don’t supply it to him. It’s scary how many of these people I meet, even now at University. Frankly, this kind of attitude is the one that dominated school playgrounds. We all knew the type… the shallow, desperate and dominating people who wanted huge friendship circles over having quality friends. I really thought I’d left this behind. Worse, I never thought I’d actually have to live with one of these people.

So yes, my life has been difficult since September. We’ve tried to resolve the problems in the past by talking, but there’s no point… we’re two very different people.

Ever since this point there has been a severe tension in the house. It makes me pissed off. Things could have been so different if I hadn’t accepted this house. Maybe if I’d sent off my accommodation application forms earlier, I wouldn’t have had to take the first thing I saw.

In terms of social life, Uni has been something of a letdown for someone like me who is not at all a fan of going out drinking. I do have my friends here, but they’re no better or worse than the ones I had at home. I chose not to join any of the “social clubs” because all of those are also just excuses for drinking as much as possible.

But this atmosphere gets to me. I’ve no doubt they’re using this as an excuse not to pay their share of any bills on time at the moment. I’m still waiting for the electricity and gas bill to be paid to me. I know they know about it, because there is a note that he has written on the table in his room saying that he still owes money to me, along with calling me a “dickhead”.

This gives rise to a horrible dilemma. I really want this year to end. I want to see the back of him, and be able to live in peace with people who I can get along with.

Yet, given my total lack of enthusiasm for seeing my final months of being a teenager pass me by, and also hating the fact that my life is currently flashing before my eyes, and the fact that 2nd year will be much tougher than 1st year, I shouldn’t be wishing my life away. These are valuable moments that I will never be able to relive. But I just can’t deal with it.

I hate him for making me feel like this. It’s ruined the whole of this year, and it’s set me back mentally by many years. It’s been many years since I felt this depressed…