Kids TV

Almost everyone you speak to will tell you that the kids TV programmes were better when they were younger. It’s largely true, but only because your memory is skewed and you had more time to watch such programmes back then.

I seem to be a bit more objective at things like this. While I have great fondness for some of the programmes I can remember (Knightmare was awesome – bring it back!), I do think that a lot of kids cartoons are much funnier now, particularly things like Spongebob Squarepants, Dexters Lab and plenty of others.

However, there is one thing about kids TV that will never change for the better. In fact, with every passing generation we can be sure that this rule will apply forever more. It’s so breathtakingly predictable that it’s almost depressing.

Kids TV presenters will get worse. And younger.

In the days of Phillip Schofield, Andy Crane, Andi Peters, and others in the Broom Cupboard with Gordon the Gopher, Pat Sharp and others… and even the guy who we heard but never saw on Children’s ITV, they were all rather annoying. And they were all late 20s to early 30s.

Now the oldest presenters are mid 20s, and some of them are early 20s. And they’re incredibly annoying. So fake and pathetic in their attempts to be “cool”. None of them have hair that’s remotely straight – everyone must sport that “just got out of bed” look. This guy is one of the best examples of this. Within the next few years, I’m pretty sure that the presenters will be late teenagers. I just wonder how much further they will take it…

Yet, at the same time, I cannot help but feel a little jealous. I’ve always been interested in TV, although not as a presenter. Backstage has always fascinated me, and so I’m really jealous that these people, no more than a couple of years older than me, have managed to get in there with likely the minimal of effort if they have the usual nepotistic connections that getting jobs in the media entails.

It makes me wonder if I’d made some different decisions and pushed myself a little harder when I was 16 or 17… and indeed, not thrown away the connections I had with a few people in the media at that age, things may well have been enormously different.

And once again, it makes me think about how many doors have already been closed on me, even as reasonably young as I am. It won’t be long before I’m older than the kids TV presenters. And then I’ll be depressed.

Fancy that. Getting depressed over these gangs of completely infuriating baboons…

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