Troubling Times

I’m a little spooked this morning. Last night I had a disturbing dream about watching a public execution by electric chair. In real life I would never do anything like this, and I’m always grateful for the fact that there is no capital punishment in the UK, and the chances of it ever returning are extremely remote. This dream rather backed that up… I was watching it on TV – it seemed to be coming from America – and I couldn’t bear to watch. I had no idea who was being executed and under what circumstances, but I sat there “watching” behind my hands covering my eyes. It was really sickening… the electricity was turned on, noises and screams were heard but the picture cut out. I’m not quite sure why I would dream about this, and I have no idea what it means. Still, it scared me a lot. I’ve never had a dream like that before.

Anyway, I have decided that it’s time to do something. Anything. I was watching TV yesterday and discovered that 2005 is the Year of the Volunteer. Volunteering had never really interested me, until recently, when I wanted to do something to help out for the Tsunami victims. Having very little money to contribute, I thought I could do more by actively getting involved, but I didn’t know where I could. So eventually, I did nothing. Purely by chance I spotted this clip on the news yesterday, referring to a website where you can put in your postcode and get a list of all the projects requiring volunteers in the local area.

A fantastic idea, I thought. I found a number of projects that I’d probably be interested in learning more about and probably contributing a few hours a week – at least to give me a feeling of some sort of self-worth by putting something back into society, and as a bonus to meet some new people.

Unfortunately, I made a small error on the website. I signed up to the site that allows you to send all your details to the organisations online not realising that by doing so it would submit my details to the organisation I had last looked at on the website. The last one I looked at was the one I decided was probably the last on my list of ones I’d like to volunteer for.

So now I’m expecting a phone call from these people. I don’t know whether to just go along with it – give it a go and find out what exactly is involved, or bottle out straight away.

I don’t know how I manage to get into these ridiculous situations. I’ve managed to turn something positive into a negative, and now I’m dreading the phone call. I hate the phone anyway, and talking to someone on a subject like this is not something I’m particularly looking forward to.

Stupid me.

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