A Week

It’s been a very fast week. I can’t believe it was last Sunday when I last posted. I’d like to think it’s because I’ve kept myself busy, but I can’t really see much evidence of that. I’m only in for 10 hours a week in Uni, which is pretty non-stressing.

I was supposed to go to a meeting on Tuesday about working in a summer camp in either America or Europe. Something like this really sounds like a break that I’d really enjoy, but as usual, I managed to talk myself out of going. I took one look at the insane application forms, and the processes involved – including interviews at the American Embassy, and I decided it’s just too much for me. I might come to regret this decision… I know I already am in my head, but I can’t help but feel contradictory at times, even when I know it isn’t my true feelings. Or maybe they are this time…

I was browsing across the internet the other day when I stumbled upon a website with lots of trivial tests on it. I can’t resist things like this, and the first one I decided to do – surprise surprise – the one called “What Age Do You Act?” produced an interesting result.

You Are 19 Years Old


13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world.

I act 19, according to this test. Quite a co-incidence that I am 19 anyway. I normally do things like this and the results are usually way out and somewhat vague. I was very amused when it came out with the exact answer!

It did get me thinking. Of course the test is just fun… I have always thought I act a lot older than I really am. Or maybe I’m just acting a lot older than my peers – who I swear often seem more like 15 year olds at times. But the description is true. I do have a major problem with authority. I despise it. I question it, especially when it comes to the motivations it holds. It doesn’t matter what guise it is in – I can’t help but wonder exactly what’s going on inside such people’s minds. But I think I will always be this way. I have for many years now, and I would like to think it’s part of my mentality. I believe authority should always be questioned; authority makes mistakes. Always.

And yes, I am also still trying to find my place in the world. I’ve been struggling with this for years, and I don’t see signs of this ever changing. It’s the way I am. I still don’t think I have anything to contribute to the overall welfare of society. I don’t think there is any point to life at all. It’s just a bunch of stuff that happens. Then you die. There’s absolutely nothing more to it.

Yup. I’m not exactly a happy person to be around!

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