Work Work Work

It’s been a busy old week, which pleases me greatly.

Out of the blue on Tuesday I got a call from one of my very first customers. He is a headmaster of a school, and all those months ago he promised me that when he got enough work in his school he would give me a call

And, at last, he did. I had started to think maybe he’d had enough of me and thought I was a bit of a joke, and had just said something nice to get rid of me.

But it seems, after all, that maybe I did a good job after all.

I’ve been there for the last two days now. It’s not exactly in a convenient location, requiring a two hour train journey to get there (even though it’s not that far away) but it’s been worth it. So far 12 hours of work, with a little hardware sales, and the prospect of at least a few more on Tuesday.

All good timing as it’s going to help make sure my cash reserves are in good shape for when the move comes.

Which is, at this point, scheduled for next Saturday. That’s scary. I’m looking forward to it, but the nerves about whether I’m potentially frittering away over £5,000 are now setting in. I’m also starting to think that maybe things are just about getting into shape around here at the very moment I’m abandoning it all to start again.

Very risky indeed. But, at the same time, I know I’ll be able to make a much better go of it in my new place. I should be able to build up the business much more quickly and get back to the same position I’m in now in a much quicker time. Fingers crossed anyway.

So next week is potentially my very last one here. Well, that’s rubbish, actually, because I know I’ll be back the following weekend to bring back more stuff and keep in touch with my other loyal customer (another school), which I’m going to on Monday.

But it’s still a significant emotional milestone. The end of the road for my life here. In all honesty, I can’t wait. That’s the way I’m feeling right now. I’m sick of my family, I have no friends here. I’ll have no friends there either, but at least my family won’t be getting in the way.

Absence makes the heart grow fonder, it seems. I think I need a good absence from them now. They don’t appreciate the contribution I make to this household, and I’m sure they’ll properly notice it once I’m gone. All I ask for is a little thanks, a little recognition. But no. Too much to ask for. That’s the way this family has always been; we don’t communicate. Even when I try to.

So I don’t bother any more.

And soon I won’t have to. The odd phonecall every week. That’ll do me fine.

Search Results

The weekend now seems a distant memory, but it was a productive one.

I arrived at my destination on Friday evening, and was met there by my friend and prospective house sharer. I’m still a little unsure about what he’s going to be like to live with, as though we’ve known each other for years we don’t really appreciate each others way of life habits. The kind of thing you only begin to understand when you live with them…

So it’s a gamble from that perspective. But I think it will be OK.

We started the house hunt in earnest on the Saturday morning. We had worked out a tight schedule to view some 11 properties in the space of six hours, spread across our prospective new home region. It ran like clockwork, as we managed to get to all our appointments early and the estate agents were all on time too. Good for them.

Some of the properties were embarrassingly bad. The estate agent almost seemed apologetic showing us round them. They were top floor flats with grimy communal areas like staircases and lifts. Then you’d go inside and either there’d be a total mess in there or it would be clear but that would expose the rather curious holes in the plasterboard walls.

After much scouring of flats and apartments we quickly decided they weren’t going to work.

So we moved on to the house part of our itinerary. That, I’m pleased to say, was much more successful. The advantages of having entirely your own space are huge. Even better, one of the houses we looked at had a small garage to its side which would be perfect for my computing business.

That house is the one we’ve decided to go for. It was new, modern, recently redecorated, and the price was a steal once we offered a 12 month tenancy.

It’s a massive gamble for me. Can I possibly recoup the £4,000 in rent over the space of a year? If I can I’ll be happy. It will be a positive sign that there is room for continued growth.

I will also have a much better chance of running my business properly as my friend is going to be heavily involved. That’s one of the major attractions of moving.

If it doesn’t work I think it will become obvious to me very quickly. In which case, I really will have to find a proper job. That won’t be too difficult, hopefully. But in any case, it will result in me successfully leaving home and starting my own life, something I’m desperate to do.

If it does work… well, the sky’s the limit.

It’s now just a case of waiting for the estate agents to do their bit. And, of course, hand over huge sums of money for trifling little bits of legal and clerical work. Bastards have me over a barrel with their fees for this, that and the other.

Exciting times ahead…

Searching

This time tomorrow I expect to be safely ensconced on train, zooming southwards to a potential new home.

Well… it might be a little to early to say that. At the very least I’ll be on the lookout for a new home.

My plan to form a bigger business venture with a business partner might happen, or it might not happen. It all hinges upon us both finding somewhere decent to live that isn’t expensive. In fact, cheap enough that a six month tenancy will be worth the gamble.

So far we’ve not made all that good progress using the internet. We have found a couple of properties, and even booked in for some viewings, but it is a shame that in two cases we have since been called up to say that the property is gone. One of those in particular was something that looked extremely good for us.

But nothing beats actually getting out there and searching for yourself. Most of the work will be done in the space of six hours or so on Saturday. It will, no doubt, be a tiring experience. There’s certainly a lot of ground to cover, as there is more than one potential town on the horizon that we could live in.

It’s an exciting time for me… I’m having some doubts about whether this is a good idea… but every time I have them I realise that I have no other real option. Staying here for the rest of my life is not doable. And, the more I work for other people, the more I want to work for myself, and make it happen properly.

In theory this could all go very quickly once we’re committed. There is no time like the present, after all. I don’t really know how the logistics of the move will work, but in any event it’s not something I need to worry about now. These things will come together somehow.

The key to it will be hitting the ground running. Once I’m settled down I’ll have to think hard for ways in which to make the computer repair/retail thing really take off. I’ll be more willing to leaflet and advertise to wider areas once I’ve got proper transport available, which can only help. Right now I’m terrified of the phone ringing and the customer saying they’re in a place 15 miles away… because I either have to turn them down or it turns into a big travel commitment.

But that’s all for the future. Who knows, it might not even happen. After all, in the past week, I’ve actually been really busy with my business and other things in my life. So much so that I was starting to feel quite good about myself again.

But I knew today would come, when there are no calls, and once again I’m sitting here… waiting… for something, anything, to distract me. Hoping that that something might earn me some money.

And that’s no good.

And that’s why the search is on.

Payment By Results

In my line of work, there really is no other pay other than performance-related. To try to encourage customers I don’t charge if I can’t solve their problem.

In fact, that has never happened. I have always been able to fix it. And, without a doubt, much cheaper than what they would have had to pay if they’d gone to PC World for the same service. And I work much faster than them too.

But, when it comes to the world of cleaning, all results are not equal. I get paid £6/hour for the brief two hour stint I do every morning, almost regardless of how much effort I put in. Sadly, I am much too conscientious to be a slacker, and do the most half-arsed job possible while still picking up my wages.

No, instead I toil and do everything I’m asked to do to a bloody high standard. So much so that many of the staff there have started commenting, “I wouldn’t be bothered with that” when I started cleaning a urinal, and “she was crap anyway” about the cleaner whose job it is I’m covering.

It’s just in my nature, unfortunately. It means I’m always taken advantage of when I work for other people. I can’t help but put in more effort than necessary to complete a task. I just like to see things done properly.

It’s also one of the reasons why I’m desperate to make working for myself succeed. Because, as far as self-employment is concerned, hard work is invariably rewarded in some way. Either through customer satisfaction, extra pay, extra tips, or better, recommendations via word-of-mouth. Which, as all businesses know, is the publicity money simply can’t buy. Even better, that hard work directly benefits me. It doesn’t line someone else’s pocket.

But around these parts, when work is scarce (as it, sadly, is again this week) I have to find things to do to keep me occupied. Before I started my cleaning job, one of the things I would invariably do is clean up here.

But now… by the time I get home, iron my clothes, have a shower and get dressed, it’s virtually lunch time. Once that’s done, I have a couple of hours before my brother and sister get home from school. I used to do a lot more in this time cleaning-wise.

Now, I really can’t be bothered. I can’t imagine anything worse than doing cleaning and not getting paid for it! At least when I’ve got my hands in the khazi in work there is some financial reward for doing so. Here? Not a chance. Not even any appreciation.

In any case, I don’t really have much energy left. After a five mile round trip to work, on top of the physical effort, I’m pretty much done for the day. So I’ve dropped to doing the bare minimum to keep my mum quiet.

Still, it’s more than was done during the summer holidays. The house has been a bit of a mess for the last six weeks. It’s been nice to get a bit of peace back…

Brisk Business

The week trickles ahead, and my recent run of good fortune seems to be continuing.

I’ve been working every day this week, and not just in the cleaning job I mentioned in my previous post. That is going OK. About as best you can hope for when you’re cleaning toilets, I suppose. Even better when on the radio comes Linger by the Cranberries, you start whistling – “Do you have to let it linger?” – as a member of staff walks in to use the toilet cubicle…

Aside from such amusements it’s very mundane. But at least I get paid for doing it. Better still, I’m getting paid more than I did at the petrol station, and don’t have a shitty boss, and don’t have to live with the constant threat of losing pay.

Even better, this morning my wage slip arrived. I’ve been paid on time, and taxed correctly. I’ve yet to receive a wage slip from my former employer, and the whole thing was administered incorrectly. If I don’t get wageslips in the end, it’s going to make next year’s self-assessment form incredibly difficult.

But amidst all this, my computer business has been not too bad either. I’ve had several customers the past few days, each one producing a decent level of return for my time investment, and each one seeming very pleased with the service and all promising to recommend to me to anyone they know who has a computer to fix.

It’s been a struggle… because I’ve done most of the home visits by walking to them. One of them was 2.5miles, but I have no choice at the moment but to keep my costs to a minimum. Perhaps it will encourage me to get a car. But I still think I’m the wrong side of 30 for the insurance companies. There’s no way I can afford £1,000+ a year just on insurance. But it hasn’t been too bad, anyway. I don’t mind walking. Gets me out the house and keeps me relatively active!

The only real black mark against it has been the failure of eBay to produce any useful leads. I took a gamble, hoping the eBay shop would drive traffic to my website. It hasn’t. I’m just left with a bill for a large number of crappy auctions which ended for pennies as I tried to get rid of the rubbish lying in this room. Never mind…

That is still very much in prospect. In fact, I’m going there in a couple of weeks time to scout out somewhere to live. If it can all be wrapped up the same day and an agreement in principle made then there’s no reason why I wouldn’t be able to move by October. I have no real ties here. It would be sad to move, of course, but again and again I think to myself that my time here has run out.

It’s going to happen soon. Just when is still to be decided…

Bangor Bound

“Didn’t we have a lovely day the day we went to Bangor” is something my mum came out with when I told her I was having a day out there. Apparently, it’s some old song. I don’t know. She comes out with some crackers.

It never struck me as one of the places I would actually look forward to, but this small town on the North West Wales coast was in fact a rather nice day out.

My purpose for the visit was to mix a bit of business with pleasure. A friend of mine is doing a lot of political activity there. I decided to come along and help the effort on one of their “action days” – which basically involved miles of walking shoving leaflets through letterboxes.

The good news was that the weather was absolutely perfect. Couldn’t have been any better. Glorious sunshine, a tiny breeze to keep it cool, but not too hot. Which is important when you’re doing physical exercise. Especially as I was the lucky one to carry my group’s leaflets around in my backpack.

We were well looked after with some fantastic hospitality. Food and drinks, all provided freely, and a wonderful little cottage as a base for our operations. It’s just exactly what you need when you’re doing something like this. Wasn’t too stressful either. In fact, we had a great time.

Then, when we’d all finished, we departed for the bar for a celebratory drink. It gave me a great chance to catch up with my old friend whom I’d not seen in years. Even better was that I didn’t have to pay, because it’s tradition in these things for the person who we’re all working for to thank their activists in such a way!

Well, the only thing I did pay for was the cost of travel. I had to get up at 5:30am yesterday to be there for 9:30… and, pleasingly, the train journey went extremely smoothly. It only cost £15 too, thanks to the shiny new railcard I’ve invested in.

But the early start wasn’t too much of a problem for me anyway. The main reason: I have once more found myself a little job to supplement my income. In truth, it’s something I’ve always had the option of doing but was never too keen on it.

My uncle is an area manager of a cleaning firm. He got me a job at the drop of a hat, especially when he heard about the scum I worked for in my previous job. It’s only a few hours each day, bright and early in the morning, but that suits me fine. I’m home by 10am, and then I’ve got the rest of the day to myself.

And recently, I’ve actually had plenty of stuff to do. Business has been fairly good the past three weeks. Still not huge amounts of money, but it is showing potential. Seems I’m getting lucky right now.

About bloody time. It’s been a tough past couple of months.

Holding Pattern

So I’ve spent the last week considering very carefully what my next move in life should be.

The problems outlined in my previous post still remain, and are no nearer to being solved. In fact, each day they go on drives me just a little bit more insane. Will I ever see my passport again? What a stupid bastard I was to hand it over in the first place.

But there has been a modicum of success business wise lately. Yes, I can’t believe it either. I’ve sold three PCs, all about the same time. How can this be? How can people suddenly arrive with requests for PCs all at the same time? Life is very weird. But all of these orders have now been fulfilled… with only minor farce resulting from the delayed arrival of one hard drive.

Then, as I fully expect, all will return to silence again. The phone will stop ringing. The e-mails will not arrive. All that will be left is just me. Sitting. Waiting. Wishing. As Jack Johnson sang. Good tune that.

Over the weekend just gone I had a meeting with a friend of mine. It was mostly to talk business… because he and I have big plans in formation. I’m fed up with life here. He’s fed up with his life. It just so happens that our talents and plans have co-incided for the first time in our lives. He’s been made redundant. I’ve been sitting around doing naff all for well over a year. Perfect!

We think we may be able to do my business and do it properly. Combining beautifully with his new media talents. Oh, and his ability to drive. And some new territory. Up North, no one really seems to care about computers. Down South… well, maybe it’s more likely to be the Land of Milk and Honey. And silicon.

This plan would involve me moving down South. Permanently. Well, permanently if it works. If it doesn’t work I’ll be back home by the time six months is up. But I’m prepared to take this gamble.

I’m starting to feel old. I’m starting to feel like my opportunities to take big gambles with my life are shrinking. I need to be doing something productive with my time, something that is genuinely going to be able to make me live a life. A life that’s actually worth living. Not like now.

Perhaps the stresses of having bills to pay and obligations will focus my mind, make me work harder at it. Because I know full well that I’ve not really given this my all. Partly through not being prepared to risk much. But also my lack of transportation and not wanting to put more upon my parents.

That’s another reason why I have to leave. I really must get out from under their feet. I’m no bother. I help out a lot. But I need to move on. They understand. I’m too big for the nest now.

Let’s just see what happens.

In Demand

For various reasons, I am indeed a popular chap at the moment. But not in every way I’d want.

Chief amongst them is in my so-called part-time job. Because it’s shit, and no one wants to do it, and even more so no one wants to work nights, I am called upon if anyone calls in sick. Which is happening a lot at the moment. It’s resulting in me working a lot of night shifts… which is steadily driving me insane due to a lack of sleep.

But also, yesterday I was out delivering leaflets for the political party I’m a member of. People like me are always loved by local parties. We’ll trudge around for hours doing the same thing again and again in the hope that it’ll turn a few voters to us. And as we’re young and fit, we can go on for hours and hours without too much of a problem. Just as long as the councillors dip their hands in the pockets at the end of it and pay for food and beers.

Only yesterday’s post-leaflet celebration was cut short by the dreaded phone call asking me to work the night shift on my night off. I accepted the offer, mainly because I’m a slave to the wage right now. I need every penny I can get my hands on if I’m to amass the funds required to achieve whatever the hell it is I want to do.

Which is rather odd, because I still don’t know what to do. I must have delivered over 200 leaflets separately for my business only a few days before, only to get precisely no response. It seems everything I’ve tried to do has failed miserably. I don’t understand why it’s so difficult to get anywhere. All around me are people running businesses. Worst of all, the guy I work for in the petrol station empire is, frankly, thick as pigshit. Presumably dyslexic judging by his appalling written communication. A rather nasty piece of work too.

But he’s running a business with a multi-million pound turnover. It can’t be rocket science. What is it that I’m doing wrong? I could do with getting some advice from somewhere. Free advice, preferably. Because that’s half the problem. Everything I want to do seems to cost so much. Advertising. Rental. Buying stock to sell it at a profit. The initial outlays are huge. I can afford them, but at the same time do I want to? Maybe I’m just not prepared to risk enough to run a business.

Meanwhile, I get more and more frustrated with my life. I have a viable option to escape from this house and live with an old friends from secondary school. That makes me in demand there as well. But I don’t know whether it’s sensible. It could be the worst decision I ever make, because I don’t really know him any more, and for all I know he’s not a very good person to live with. I’ve learned that one through bitter experience. Gonna have to think through that one very carefully.

But what can I do with my life? I’m still no nearer to answering this conundrum. I thought I may have found an answer by running my own business, but no such luck.

Until I get close to solving it, I’m always going to remain just one step from severe depression.